The Real Cause of My Repetition-Make-Me-Want-to-Pee Problem

Last week, I read a blog post about learning one new skill every year by giving yourself a full year to learn and master a new skill. I was inspired and I decided to learn how to play guitar this year.

Learning from Past Experience

I remember when I was a kid, my mom wanted me to learn to play organ. I did not like it at all. Whenever the teacher came to our house to teach, I pretended to sleep. There was one time that I said to her I was sleepy and I slept on top of the organ. Finally my mom and my teacher gave up and I stopped learning.

What I did not tell them was the reason why I did not want to learn anymore. The teacher told me to learn a song called “Bunga Matahari” (Sunflower). I did not like that song at all, I also found it too hard. The teacher forced me to play that song over and over again during a one-hour lesson. Then she told me to practice that song for one week and we’d play it again in the next lesson. That was when I decided to quit. I just did not want to play that song.

When my mother tried to make me learn again by getting a new teacher, I still did not want to learn. Frankly, in my heart I liked the new teacher, but somehow I was to stubborn to admit that I like learning from her. I stood my ground saying that I simply hate playing organ to hide the real reason that I actually did not like the teaching method of the first teacher. I made it impossible for the second teacher to teach me, and it was all because of my pride. Now I can see how this incident keeps repeating itself throughout my life. I’ve let my pride holding me back from learning and growing. (I’ll write more about this later)

It has been 25 years since that incident. I have not told anybody about it. When I wrote this post, I just realized something very important. This incident of playing that song over and over again might be the incident that caused me to hate repetition and make me want to pee whenever I have to do something over and over again. Even writing this post and remembering the incident, I feel that I need to go to the toilet. (In 15 minutes I went three times already). HAHAHAHA Finally after 25 years, I found the real cause of my repetition-make-me-want-to-pee problem! 

This repetition-make-me-want-to-pee problem has made me feel very uncomfortable when I have to do things that require repetition. For example, when I was learning Chinese language in Beijing, my teacher often gave me a homework to write each character that we learned that day at least 10 times. It felt like a torture to me because to complete that homework, I had to go to the bathroom countless times. Sometimes it hurt because there was no water left yet I still felt the sensation. (I am sure you know how it feels)

I am so glad that by writing this post, I finally uncover the cause of my problem. It may seem silly to you but it is a profound AHA moment for me.

Learn and Grow!

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